Too much talking

Acts of kindness

Last week, I came across one of my old diaries while cleaning my cupboard. It was a small pocket diary. When we were in school, we used to get previous year’s diary as bonus. We used them as notes, rough books, lyrics books, and whatever writing need of the moment.

This pocket diary, which I got, had a list of something like this.

1. Watered plants in the garden
2. Helped Amma in the kitchen
3. Gave seat to an old person in the bus
4. Helped sister by answering her query on homework
5. Put waste paper on the road to dustbin
6. Helped an old man to cross the road
7. Gave money to a beggar
8. Answered a friend’s doubt on some topic

The list reminded me of my Scouts and Guides time at school. We were asked to maintain a diary of good things we did. According to me the above list was some great deeds of kindness. There were a lot more of these sort in that diary. Some of them gave me a good laugh too.

Today, I happened to read Shri Shri Ravishankar’s article on 25 ways to be happy. One of them was Random acts of kindness. It was an eye-opener to sit back and think of recent acts of kindness in my day books. During the past few days, did I do anything to be called as an act of kindness? The answer was a fluctuating No to the Yes side.

But, there were times, when I had answered my colleague’s queries, watered plants, gave money to a beggar. But, those were nowhere in my book of acts of kindness. Now, I doubt whether they were really the acts of kindness or am I not doing anything of that sort at all. Has the definition of the act of kindness changed over time? If so, what are the acts of kindness

1. Sending Rs. 100/- to the SOS Children’s village notice came along with my credit card bill and claim it for income tax exemption?
2. Not denying to the one day’s contribution from salary for some recent natural calamity
3. Donating Rs. 100/- for ‘Annadaanam’ venture of some temple

These few were qualified for the entry to the good books. But, the common factor in this new definition is money and money only unlike my earlier ones; but the willingness to do cannot be ruled out.
Still, I wonder which one of my definitions for acts of kindness is finer. The answer is left to all those who still retains the traces of childhood innocence.

posted by Lekshmi @ 5:26 AM 3 comments

A Bus journey

I just boarded to a bus from AIIMS to Cannaught Place. It was over crowded since there are only a few buses, which go to the heart of the capital. I always hate the system to enter through the back door and get down through the front door. It is worse when you need to sail through by passing all those sweating bodies from back door to the front door. Somehow, I managed to find a man sitting in a ladies seat.

I went to the seat and asked in the most polite way.

“Bhayya, ye ladies seat hai. Please seat dedijiye.” (Brother, this is aldies seat. Please let me sit.)

I could see him suddenly falling asleep. Poor guy, he might not have slept for the whole night yesterday.

No way, how come he fell asleep immediately after my polite request. I decided to make a second attempt.

“Bhayya, ladies seat khaali kar dijiye.” (Brother, please give the ladies seat)

Then I could see his face muscles drawing alphabets with the detestation for me. While I was thinking of the next step to call the conductor, he kind-heartedly left the seat for me.

I made myself comfortable in the uncomfortable crowd and the sometimes-annoying Radio Mirchi (FM).

Listening to a Himesh Reshammya song, I passed the Safdarjung Tomb, then, India Gate and was approaching the Krishi Bbavan. I was annoyed by somebody leaning towards me. It was a girl of 11-12 years in a skirt and top. From her, oily hair and Chandanakkuri, I could smell the Mallu connection. She must be approaching puberty with her assets showing prominence. Let’s call her Ammukkutty.

Since the bus was overcrowded, she was not even able to stand properly. Poor girl, the just-sufficient-for-two seats did not allow me to accommodate her also to my seat. Irrespective of all these, she was just enjoying the close view of Parliament House. When I came to Delhi for the first time, I was so fascinated to see all those monuments, which I had seen only in my history text books.



Thinking of this never-ending metro construction work and wondering what will be going on behind the big metal bars with Metro Construction going on written over them. I could hear only some machines roaring and the horns of vehicles caught up in traffic jam.


I just looked up to see my little Ammukkutty and a fair hand grabbing her yet-to-be grown assets. He was standing so close to her that she could not even move left or right. I was literally shocked to see the guy, decently dressed in formals, doing this and looking out of the window with an unknown happiness reflecting on his face. My little Ammukkutty was still wondering at the mystic shapes of Jantar Mantar.



I too drooled to those red shapes with a touch of sympathy for her. It was a big fuzz, which brought my attention back to the bus. A lady was asking the bus people to stop the bus and the power of her voice itself made the driver to stop the bus near LIC building.

" Aap ko pata nahi ye saale ne kya kiya is ladki ke saath. Kapdade to ache ache pehenke aate hai, iske maa- behen nahi hai kya" (You don't know what this idiot is doing. Wearing nice cloths, does he have mom and sister at home?)

I could see the wierd smiling faces staring at my poor Ammukkutti. Conductor asked her.

" Kya hua?"(What happened?)

She was looking totally lost. From her face, I could make out that she is totally confused as to what happened. She was not even able to understand the language. She tried replying.

" I mmmmm , this man does caught ..." ; she was trying to answer in broken-English words, failing to convey the meaning.

I was thinking of helping her, but my inherent keralite mentality pulled me back.

"Enthinaa ithilokke idapedunne. Ennaalum njan ida pedante, hmmmm" (Why should I involve in all these? But, I should intrigue...)

The lady was burning with anger.

" Take the bus to the police station. I don't allow a single step forward without solving this issue. These kinds of idiots should be punished."

Then she turned and asked Ammukkutty.

"Beti, you please tell what has happened"

While she was still searching for Hindi-English words in her dictionary, her parents came to rescue her.

At the end, our in accommodatingating nature made her parents stop that lady from going further.

On my way back to home, I had a lot of questions to answer...

1. Was it me or my compromising nature (a birth gift as a Malayali), which stopped me from reacting even after seeing the injustice to that girl?
2. Were the parents right in difusing the problem without leading it to the police station?
3. Why didn't I support the lady, who reacted for a genuine cause? Being a Malayalee and above all, being a female, I should have done that.
4. Is it the same inability to react leads to more crimes against females? Is it the same that makes thejourneyunery in Kerala a night mare?
5. Are we lacking in giving proper sex-education to kinds nowadays? If we say that kids are very much aware of these things from TV, then will it be a wrong conception?

The list continues....and so as the molestations...

posted by Lekshmi @ 4:46 AM 7 comments

Brahmacharya

July 9th will be the last day of our one month Brahmacharya period. When we decided, we were not very sure whether we could do justise to this tough decision. All normal ladies can understand the difficulty of living with a handsome hunk and all gentle men can understand the control required for living with a hot babe for 30 long days, that too observing strict Brahmacharya.

Afterall, all are for the auspicious occassion, which had come after four years of waiting. If you don' t avail it now, you will have to wait another four years for it. The toughest part was that both of us had to be awaken to catch up with the Muhurthams till early morning. To be precise, 'Brahma Muhurtham'. Being a female, I got a few days concessions to sleep when the Muhurthams were not so auspicious.

But during those days, when we both had to be awaken, I had extra duties of preparing coffee and serving chips to keep us awake. Afterall, these are part of Brahmacharya vrat.

We are supposed to observe all these strict rituals to encourage those pilgrims who are struggling to attain the moksha by reaching the precious golden ball. One of them will also be blessed with a 'Suvarna paadukam' (golden boot) to continue the pilgrimage next time. In the course of this pilgrimage started from June 10th, many of the pilgrims will be knocked out of the journey at various milestones. This might be because of some of them had violated rules of the vrat.

As they approach the golden ball, there will be 22 of them left. Only the highly esteemmed 11 of them will get the life time opportunity to touch the golden ball. As the most awaited day approaches, the day the last 11 will reach the ultimate adobe, we will be contented that our sacrifice, the strict Brahmacharya could add a drop in the sea of prayers.

Yes, day after tomorrow is the day which will mark the end of the strict vrat period. Back to married life for another 4 yrs till this comes again.

Dedicated to all those guys who were forced to be bachelors and those gals who were forced to be spinsters due to Word Cup Football.

France or Italy??

posted by Lekshmi @ 3:39 AM 6 comments

I loved u there....I hate you here.....

I loved you there for.....

I loved the music of rain

I loved watching the rain from my varandah, sipping piping hot black coffee

I loved rain, walking through water filled 'idavazhikal',spalshing water and making myself more and more wet. Also, making sure that nobody sees that.

I loved watching drenched trees.

I loved the sun light peeping through the water drops.

I loved cooling my eyes with those water-crystals (This is a water like film formed around stems of grasses)

I hate you here for.....

I hate the aandhi (a strong dusty wind, which usually happens before rain) before rain, which make my balconies dirtier.

I hate the traffic jams which make me late to reach home.

I hate the dirty water filled gutters.

I hate the cab drivers who enjoy the water splash by staining my new white dress (daag sche hai, par mera Surf excel does not do that).

I hate the flies who enjoy the rain on food items and my veranda. (Yes, it is a fly’s season on rainy days).

posted by Lekshmi @ 3:22 AM 3 comments

June 1

Today is June 1. In Kerala, June 1 is the beginning of a new academic year in Schools so as the most assured rainy day. Just like every kid, I also used to be very much excited to go to the new class and meeting friends after 2 months gap. We were supposed to sit in our old classes first and the teacher used to announce the names of those who were promoted to the next class. The next item in the agenda was to march to the new class room where our new class teacher would be ready to welcome us.

Then comes the fight for seats. I always wanted to sit in the extreme corner of second bench. Since I was one among the taller categories, in some classes I was forced to sit in the back bench to ensure that all those 'pokkam kuranjavar' can see the board clearly. I used to feel so ashamed to sit there since back bench used to be for repeaters. Yep, these back bench days got me a few friends who had 2-3 years experience in the same class and elder to me by 5-6 years....:-).

I loved the smell (I would say it a fragrance) of new books and used to enjoy it till they become older and get the smell of the leaked curries from my lunch box and wet school bag.

Covering books and pasting name slips (we used to call them labels) on them were two of the most pleasant activities. We used last years calendars for covers and get brown papers for covering composition books. I used to possess a nice collection of name slips from Poompatta, Balarama and Amar chitra Katha. Me and my sister used to have tough fights to get the best name slips and calendars.

June 1 was supposed to be a half day for us and it used to rain heavily when we go back home. Still, I am confused about this phenomenon.

Over the years, the school reopening dates were changed and so as the commencement of rainy season. But, still the child in me love shivering in those wet uniforms, excitement of going to new classes and the never-ever disclosed pain of going school after 'valiya vacation' (long vacation).

"Oruvattam koodiyen ormakal meyunna
Thirumuttathethuvaan moham"

posted by Lekshmi @ 12:16 AM 1 comments

Naxalism and spirituality

Inspired from Abhi's last post on Eachara Warriar..... Naxalism has been a curse since the early 1970's in India. The driving forces were money, socialism, ruling out the difference between the have's and have not's. Whatever is the reason, it marked the darkest and most inhuman era in Indian history. The current state of many of those Naxalate heroes is a food for thought. Some of them still keep the fire in their hearts and look forward for the most awaited tomorrow. But, there are a few who have become the close disciples of Holy Men and Women and carrying a renewed holiness tag. Yes, it is true that there is nothing more than repenting the committed sin. But what about those lives, they took in their craziest moments, what about those girls who lost their virginity in front of their parents and brothers, what about those kids who lost their parents, and last not the least what about those living martyrs. They realized that falseness of their beliefs and philosophies, which they had been keeping near to their hearts. But, they forget that they harvested the same seeds in many young minds, who started the next battle of naxalism. Will these newly tagged saints able to pluck those well-groomed beliefs from the young minds?

If they really have the guilty feeling in their minds, they should help those victims instead of visiting Ashrams. Nobody has the guts to do so and this is some sort of escapism only.

Is this a necessary transformation in every human being? It gave me a tons of hourse power, when I read my favorite poet Vayalar singing;
“ Aaroraalen kuthiraye kettuvaan?
Aaroraalathin maargam mudakkuvaan
…..

Easwaranalla Maanthrikanalla njan
Pacha mannin manushyathvamaanu njan”


Later, when he made me listen to Sargasangeetham

“Aa manmethakalaattunotta madhura swapnangalil
Jeevitha premam paadiya saamagaana lahari harshaanjithaatmakkalay
Aa manwanthara bhaava shilpikalennekkumay thannathaanu
Omal kaarthika neyvilakkeriyumee ekaanda raagasramam”

There is nothing constant in this world than change…..

posted by Lekshmi @ 4:23 AM 1 comments

Abhi's Tag

Though I could not find the answers for many of the questions, here are a few from my .bak file. Thanks Abhi.....for this journey to past.

5 people who top your shit list….. and why:

1. All those who lead the violence to Sardars after Indira Gandhi’s murder. I was really shocked to read the novel ‘Driksaksi’ by Unnikrishnan Thiruvazhiyodu. All those religeously mad people, who lead the the most in human acts during seperation. Again, two books, Lajja by Taslima Nazreen and Niram Pidippicha Nunakal by Yashpal gave me the shock of the life time.
2. All those who are too loud in their phone conversations only to let others aware of their busy schedules and job status.
3. One of my classmates, who marked a comment on lagging of our course as “Some of you do not want the course to be over because you have not got campus selection and you deliberately try to delay things. “
4. All those who ask un necessary questions to peep into our personal lives.
5. All those who tries to speak in their mother tongue in an official meeting where none of the others knows the language. I used to get irritated so many times, when two of my collegues used to speak in their language in team meetings.
   

Close brushes with death/danger:
Whenever I drive, I have the same feeling. I am too afraid to drive !!!!

5 Preferable modes of suicide, in descending order:
It needs a lot of courage to commit suicide. I don’t think I have the guts.

5 Guilty pleasures:

1. Browsing for blogs and recipes while I have a ton of work to do.
2. Emptying my purse and then my credit limit to buy cassets and CDs. Then I feel contented that I possess all those musical assets.
3. Making Neypaayasam and Paalpaayasam using lots of Ghee knowing that it violates all my diet regimes.

5 things you never want to forget:

1. The journey to Kerala the first time after coming to Delhi.
2. The CUSAT Arts Festival in 2000. The last item was the Ganamela competition and our team was leading for only 1 point. At any cost, we wanted a place higher or equal to the opponent team. I was also a part of the Ganamela team and was having severe cough and sore throat. Some strange forces worked, we did it so well that we got the champinship also.
3. The day my best friend got admission in CUSAT.
4. The anniversary day in my school, when my poem was appreciated in public by late Bharatan sir.
5. Paragliding which I had done in Manali. It was such a wonderful experience to fly over the snow seeing white, white and white.

5 things you wish to forget:

1. Year 2002-2003 mid
2. The days in the company X, where I was in a contract role. The humiliation and descrimination I had to suffer still remain as a wound to my self esteem.
3. The responsibilities which abandoned me from going to Chennai when my ‘Valiachan’ passed away.
4. The day when I got to know that I am loosing the life bud in my womb.
5. The last night of my grandmother. She was suffering from cancer in her intestine and she didn’t know about the disease too.In the night before her death, she had a severe pain, her stomach expanded to double the size of a foot ball and she vomitted small parts of intestine too.

5 really exotic dishes you have tried:

1. Kanji, cherupayar, Puli chaalichathu (made of small onions, tarmarind, red chillies and cocunut oil)
2. Kappa with mulaku chammanthi
3. Paavakka mezhukkupuratti made by my Maternal grandmother
4. Aviyal and maanga chammanthi made by my paternal grandmother
5. Gobi Parantha with raita and Mirch ka Achar from road-side Dhaba in December winters.
   
6. Parippuvada, which has lots of chillies and piping hot tea

5 crushes/loves in your life… in chronological order

1. My childhood friend
2. Ajay Devgan
3. The character Dr.Jayan in the novel Samanathaalam by K. Radhakrishnan
4. My first and last love
5. My life partner

Strangest dream you ever had:
This dream I used to see only when I am ill. I walk among rocks and fell down to deep back waters. Still, can’t findout the Geography of that place where I could see both rocks and back waters !!!

5 most valued personal possessions:

1. My parents
2. My school life, where I got the best teachers and best training to take out the best in me. It was the most beautiful ten years in my life.
3. My friends
4. My collection of CDs and cassettes
5. My life partner without whom I could not have found my life so secure

5 favorite superheroes….. and why:

1. Karnan in Mahabharatha for his boldness
2. Bethovan for his superhuman talents
3. Kuttichaathan, in the film My dear Kuttichathan
   
   

posted by Lekshmi @ 9:50 PM 3 comments

Smart Vishukkaineettam

Since 'Vishu' seems to be the hottest topic among bloggers, I also should drop in a few lines.

"Konnappo kittunnilla, nee valla manjappoovum medichu kani vakku" (The yellow flower for the ritual is not available and you adjust with some other yellow flower.)

When my Uncle told me that, all the excitement for Vishu went off. Then I consoled the Malayalee in me saying that Vishu in Kerala and Vishu in Delhi should differ in some way....

We went to flower shops to get some other yellow flowers and got something which was not so fresh though. I arranged Kani remembering those eventful Vishu eves at my place in Kerala.

At 5' in the morning, when the telephone bell woke me up, I realized two things.

- Ooops !!! I did not hear my alarm. (It rang at 4')
- And, the painful fact, it is me who need to show Kani to others and my Amma is at an STD call away to wake me up on Vishu morning.

I should not think negative on a 'vishesha divasam'(special day)......

Hey, Krishna... adjust with these for the time being....Kani without 'Kanikkonna', 'Vaalkannaadi' (Metal Mirror), 'Otturuli' (one big vessel made of bronze) and me infront of you with all these in my mind.

In my ancestral home, we used to have a nice 2hrs celebrations with fireworks and all on the Vishu morning. It starts from our house and ends at another Ammavan's house (uncle).

"Itni garmi main kaun patake fod denge?" The question of one of my northindian collegues came to mind.

Then it was the session of phone calls. 'Vishu aasamsakal' through STD calls. Why do these contradictory memories come to mind?

Our visits to the relatives' houses nearby with Vishu wishes and expectations for the years 'Vishukkaineettam fund.' Eventhough the Kaineettam amount we used to get does not even make a significant percentage of my salary, I miss them and the things which I used to get specially with my Vishukkaineettam collection.

Now, it is the younger ones to ask for Vishukkaineettam.

"Ok, I'll send you as money order or transfer to your account." Kaineettam (the money given to hand), through web, money order !!!!!

Login to icicibank.com> Login>Smart Money order/Funds Transfer....

And here I am celebrating a Smart Vishu with Vailoppilli reciting this poem

"Ethu thoosara lokathil pathichaalum
Ethu yantra valkritha lokathil valarnaalum
Manassilundaavatte graamathin nanmayum
manavum mamathayum, Ithiri Konnappoovum"

posted by Lekshmi @ 9:39 PM 4 comments